Skip to main content

This is me

I don't really know how to define myself. 

 My name is Kaela. I am 28, work at a job that I'm not very enthusiastic about. 
I'm a student working on my bachelor's degree in healthcare administration. 
My favorite color is green; but not just any green. I really love the green that is like a deep forest-y color, has a steely grey color to it. It's hard to describe. 
I enjoy trying new foods. Sometimes I enjoy food too much. Believe me, it shows. 
I love to read, but it's hard for me to get into just any old book. I hope to one day write my own book. 
History fascinates me but in more of an anthropology way. I guess, really, people fascinate me. But I love learning about different cultures and their beliefs and traditions. 
Animals are wonderful. I used to ride horses as a form of therapy. I miss that.
I love video games. Online games were my way of coping with life in the past when things were tough. I don't play them as much now, however, they're still a favorite past-time. 

But that's just what I like. I don't really know who I am yet. There's more to me than what interests me. What kind of a person am I deep down inside? That's something that I want to really find out. 

 Am I the broken person I used to be? Or have I begun to finally heal? I still have bouts of depression. I still have mood swings. I have even recently pondered death again. I don't think my depression will ever fully leave me. So I suppose that is part of who I am. 

 I suppose...my goal is to figure out who I am. The things that define me, whether good or bad, are a part of me. And maybe one day I'll really be able to say "My name is Kaela...this is me". 
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Here's my story

This is a lot. You don't have to read all of it. I just feel it's kind of fair to tell you this stuff. And I mean...you've been super honest with me. So it's my turn. You know my dad died when I was three. When I was four, my cousin's friend would come over after school. He was around 12 or 14. He molested me for years. It finally stopped when I was in 4th grade. The counselors came in the classrooms and showed us some videos about sexual abuse. There were three of us girls who came forward about what was going on with us. My cousin has always been upset with himself for not telling anyone when I told him. But I don't blame him. I learned long ago it was the boy’s fault. When I was 14, I had a boyfriend who tried to rape me. He hurt me physically and left bruises on me. I finally had to go to the principal at school but still, nothing happened to him. That was when I finally lost control and my depression came about. I cut myself for the first time in ...
Post a Comment
Read more

What is life?

Homework, homework, and more homework. I only have 6 more classes until I graduate with my bachelor's. Two of those 6 I'm currently taking. So 4 left after this term. I feel like I'm drowning in homework, errands, work, and cleaning. No breaks.  My boyfriend helps a lot. He helps with the cooking, laundry, and yardwork. I'm thankful for that. There's nothing he can do when it comes to my homework or job. But after I graduate, he may be hunting for a degree, be it trade school or otherwise. He could easily change his mind, of course. I'm actually hopeful that he goes through with it. I worry about how long his job position will last. Anything could happen and the company could shut down. That would not be good for our mortgage payment and other bills. But if I were able to find a job that pays well enough, I wouldn't mind if he stayed home. Especially if we were able to one day have a baby. If he were a stay at home dad, that would be fine.  I miss not be...
Post a Comment
Read more

The War of the Mind

I am you -- you are me. Two halves of the same being,            yet completely different. Never here nor there,           personalities clash, we fall back. Marching to the same beat,           living the same war; living, breathing,           and watching others fall -- The casualties all fall down. You and I, we are closer than others. No one sees our bond, no one sees           us fight the same battle. Against each other, yet step-in-step,           neck-in-neck, through-and-through. Emotions flare, tears fall,           words are thrown carelessly. All of this we share with the            beat of one heart -- The war of the mind. Silently, the attacks begin. Creeping slowly, wordless, breathless           for the kill shot. ...
Post a Comment
Read more